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The DS unofficial 'tongue in cheek' Terms and Conditions
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Can't sleep. Have two cats taking up my side of the bed, no sheets and an OH who is snoring for Scotland.
Thought I would start this thread, that anyone can add to. Given all the stuff on here lately, I thought maybe we should have an unofficial T & C's to go along with official ones.
Please bear in mind I have probably broken every one of these rules myself!
The unofficial DS Terms and Conditions
1) When starting a provocative or contentious thread that is liable to stir up emotions, please be sure that you do not start your thread five minutes before you are about to go on a round the world cruise or trekking across the Sahara as it is likely you may get some people wanting to respond to your thread, and when one posts something emotive and just disappears, it is awfully frustrating. Try and post the thread after you get back from your very long holiday.
2) When disagreeing with another poster and calling them names, try and think up some different names to call that poster. Have a Google, or just make up a name off the top of your head. Really let your imagination run riot. Names such as 'tw*t' are getting so old hat. We all know you mean twit..that asterisk fools no one.
3) A word of advice. Do not bother to offer the mod's on here, money/your body/declarations of undying love, as it will not get you any special posting privileges and may resort to you being sent a restraining order by the mods. I
know.
4) Stop declaring you are leaving the site every time someone upsets you on a forum. It gets boring after a while, and as of today, anyone declaring this as their intention more than three times in any one calendar year, will be visited by a mod, or senior DS poster and have their computer confiscated.*
*This particular rule is especially for posters whose name begins with Boho and ends in Chick.
5) If you decide to post drunk one night, please be sure to...
a) Use your spell checker on each post or at least try and hit one right letter out of every three or so..
b) Be prepared to leave the site for at least a week if you don't want us all to laugh at you and the things you posted whilst drunk. In some cases, you may wish to stay away for a month. *
* This also applies most specially to the above named poster.
6) Always always remember that your posts are spot on, 100% right and completely honest, true and perfect. Everyone else's posts are not, and you must remember to tell them this many times. In fact, your posts are so brilliant that you should send them in a PM to every poster you know, just in case anyone missed them. If you ruled the world there would be no wars, no trouble. Everything would be perfect. If only every one else agreed with you.
7) When starting a new thread, try and be more specific in a thread title. Threads merely saying 'help' or 'need advice' are all very well, but whilst many of us want to help, it wastes valuable DS posting time if you open the thread, only to find the poster wishes to know if anyone knows the breeding habits of the Abyssinian three headed toad.
Well....those are my main guidelines...but please fell free anyone, to add any of your own.....tongue in cheek, of course.
Thought I would start this thread, that anyone can add to. Given all the stuff on here lately, I thought maybe we should have an unofficial T & C's to go along with official ones.
Please bear in mind I have probably broken every one of these rules myself!
The unofficial DS Terms and Conditions
1) When starting a provocative or contentious thread that is liable to stir up emotions, please be sure that you do not start your thread five minutes before you are about to go on a round the world cruise or trekking across the Sahara as it is likely you may get some people wanting to respond to your thread, and when one posts something emotive and just disappears, it is awfully frustrating. Try and post the thread after you get back from your very long holiday.
2) When disagreeing with another poster and calling them names, try and think up some different names to call that poster. Have a Google, or just make up a name off the top of your head. Really let your imagination run riot. Names such as 'tw*t' are getting so old hat. We all know you mean twit..that asterisk fools no one.
3) A word of advice. Do not bother to offer the mod's on here, money/your body/declarations of undying love, as it will not get you any special posting privileges and may resort to you being sent a restraining order by the mods. I
know.
4) Stop declaring you are leaving the site every time someone upsets you on a forum. It gets boring after a while, and as of today, anyone declaring this as their intention more than three times in any one calendar year, will be visited by a mod, or senior DS poster and have their computer confiscated.*
*This particular rule is especially for posters whose name begins with Boho and ends in Chick.
5) If you decide to post drunk one night, please be sure to...
a) Use your spell checker on each post or at least try and hit one right letter out of every three or so..
b) Be prepared to leave the site for at least a week if you don't want us all to laugh at you and the things you posted whilst drunk. In some cases, you may wish to stay away for a month. *
* This also applies most specially to the above named poster.
6) Always always remember that your posts are spot on, 100% right and completely honest, true and perfect. Everyone else's posts are not, and you must remember to tell them this many times. In fact, your posts are so brilliant that you should send them in a PM to every poster you know, just in case anyone missed them. If you ruled the world there would be no wars, no trouble. Everything would be perfect. If only every one else agreed with you.
7) When starting a new thread, try and be more specific in a thread title. Threads merely saying 'help' or 'need advice' are all very well, but whilst many of us want to help, it wastes valuable DS posting time if you open the thread, only to find the poster wishes to know if anyone knows the breeding habits of the Abyssinian three headed toad.
Well....those are my main guidelines...but please fell free anyone, to add any of your own.....tongue in cheek, of course.
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(Always take care when numbering posts to preserve the natural order
It's been moved to a different forum but at least it is still alive!:D
You can get one of these at your local thick skin shop. Just pop in and buy a packet of 'grow your own thick skin' seed's.
Also, while you are out shopping, you may wish to pop into army surplus and get a tin hat and a shield if they have one.
If venturing into the Big Brother forums for the first time..it also may well be worth ringing up Tony Blair and asking him if you can borrow an armoured tank.
It lives!!!!
Like this:
You lot are such bullies. There's no point in saying anything because you'll just tell your cliquey friends on MSN and the mods hate me and love you.
20) Trust me, the questions 'what is your favourite chocolate?' and 'what are your favourite crisps?' have been asked before.
21) As has 'How did you get your username'
23) Ditto "How old are you"
You may find yourself visited by a large number of F/M's in the middle of the night.
***
ROFLMAO at the rest of you....your rules are so much funnier than mine guys!